It’s not always easy to be a human on this planet. I’ve spent the better part of my life trying (and mostly failing) to figure it out. I worked for a fortune 500 company for 30 years and fled the moment I reached retirement eligibility. I spent some of those years (okay, a LOT of them) drunk every evening, which in hindsight made it infinitely harder to be a human on this planet!
Some people just seem to have been born knowing how life works – as though they were given “THE LIFE MANUAL” before conception and retained its knowledge at birth. I know that’s just perception. Everyone struggles – some just hide it better than others. Those others (like me) find it considerably easier to hide from life than learn to live in it.
Almost 10 months ago now, I decided to stop hiding. To begin with, I got sober, though this is not going to be a sobriety blog. I got real about the work I was doing in the world and realized I’d made it mostly about making everyone around me happy and that it didn’t particularly make ME happy. And I started looking at what it would take to get me happy.
There is one idea that has repeated itself throughout my life – it has informed the things I read, the experiences I gravitate toward, the people who inspire delight in my heart. As the song says, I’ve “got to believe in magic” because without it, what’s the point?
Now, I don’t necessarily mean woo-woo, Harry Potter, rabbit-out-of-hat, kinds of magic (though I do love all of that). I’m talking about the simpler kinds of magic – a good book on a rainy day, the sight of the milky way on a dark night, a simple human kindness that brings a tear to my eye, those small moments of delight that give me goosebumps. I think a life spent focused on seeking and seeing these types of magic is one that I would be proud to have lived when my days on this planet are done.
I want to live simply. I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books I’ll never be tested on. I want to paint because I want to, not because I have something to prove. I want to listen to my body, fall asleep when the moon is high and wake up slowly, with no place to rush off to. I want not to be governed by money or clocks or any of the artificial restraints that humanity imposes on itself. I just want to be… boundless and infinite. — Author Unknown